


Wanting Out

by watergator



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fear, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt, doesnt want Pidge to suffer either, matt is basically just done and doesn't wanna suffer anymore, poor matt, small shatt i snuck in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 08:45:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7428007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They rescue Matt from the Galra Empire but not everything is what it seems when they see the real Matt Holt and his plans</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanting Out

It was so surreal, seeing Matt stumble out of the pod and into Shiro's arms, gulping for breaths before he could even realise that he was free.

It didn't take long once they were away from the Galra - away from the danger, when Pidge was a shaking mess, griping into the fabric of his shirt, happy tears that her beloved brother was safe.

The reunion was bitter sweet, for the fact that Commander Holt - or dad, to Matt and Pidge - hadn't been found yet, still in the hands of the Galra Empire, dead, or alive - they didn't know what was worse.

But they wanted to focus on the here and now, and that was that Matt was finally freed and reunited with his sister, she was half way done with everything she wanted to accomplish and her smile was evident of that.

But as Shiro watched on, as the siblings hugged and the rest of the team smiled at each other at the pair, he couldn't help feel the ice cold sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach like something was wrong.

There was a scream and a thud and instincts kicked in, bare feet slapping against harsh metal floor, panting as he took a turn in the corridor towards Matts room.  
Of course Pidge was there, soothing him as his body shook on the floor, his fingernails digging into her arm as she sat on her knees, hands rubbing soft gentle circles on his back as he cried, whimpering.  
It was a sight Shiro wouldn't ever forget - the youngest, smaller siblings having to comfort the older, big brother. She looked way beyond her years and Shiro wondered if it was because now she had to - she had to care for him after everything he'd been through, as if she'd been upgraded to older sibling somehow.  
Matt was now muttering some incoherence strings of sentences, not making sense, yet Pidge was still soothing him, humming along to whatever he said.

The next morning was what changed everything.  
Matt had been on edge all morning, snapping at Hunk, something stupid about food, and Lance, being Lance had something to say, defending his friends, when Pidge pipped in, trying to stop the arguing between her brother and her closest friends.

But it was the look that Matt had shot Shiro that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. The way his eyes scowled and there was something angry in them, something mean.

"Jeez the nerve of that guy!" Lance exclaimed after Matt and Pidge had retreated back to the lab, leaving the other Paladins,  
"And the fact that Pidge actually stood up for him - over Hunk!" His head was now resting on the palms on his hands as his brow furrowed,

"Well he is her lost older brother" Keith remarked, causing the blue paladin to huff in annoyance.

"Was he always like this Shiro?" Hunk's gentle voice spoke up, causing Shiro to snap out his trance,

"Huh?" He said, his look spinning round to where the yellow paladin was sat, prodding at the left over goo on his plate.

"Was he always so, so — mean?"   
Hunk was a sensitive person, granted, he was delicate and very emotional for such a big guy, like a gentle giant, but the sudden outburst from Matt and the way he would stroll around the castle, madder and meaner than Keith was surely enough to upset his friend - even Pidge was savage and could be harsh at times, but never had she lashed out and was never out right rude or intended to hurt ones feelings, she wasn't like that.

"He's been through a lot you guys, he's only been back a few days - you have to remember that" 

Or maybe it was just a reminder for herself.

It was then, just after Lunch time - or what they called lunch time, the time zones were different and the meal times depended on when Hunk would retreat back to the kitchen for more food.

It was then that the castle, which had been floating around peacefully without the fear of any Galra, suddenly jolted to the left.  
Lance flew into Keith, knocking heads and Hunks precious goo food went over himself, landing on Coran.  
It would have been comedic if there wasn't the fear that something was wrong.  
There was only place where that could have happened, it was the control room.  
But Allura was in the holographic room.

Which meant one thing.

Shiro was darting towards the control room, and stopped in his tracks when he saw what was happening.  
He didn't realise the other had followed him when he felt about 3 bodies snack right into his back, the "ow" from Lance and another side remark from Keith.

But it all seemed so distant when he saw Matt at the control, his face flushed working the controls, and Pidge, slumped at his feet - unconscious.

His heart was beating double time when he yelled, desperate to not let his voice crack,  
"Matt what the hell are you doing?"

The said boy span on his heels, oblivious until now of the audience that he had received.

"We gotta go" he muttered before turning around to the control panel.  
The lose wired and the tools indicated that he'd defiantly broke into the system somehow - he sometimes forgot how smart he could be, how alike he and Pidge were.

"We're not going anywhere Matt" Shiro said, his voice wavering, trying not to let it break for the sanity of his friend, and for Pidge's safety.

When there was no reply, nothing but more rambling, Shiro decided to take a different approach,

"What's wrong with Pidge?" 

No reply.

"Matt - what happened to Katie? Is she hurt?"

There was only so much Shiro could take, fearing for his small friends safety he knew he had to take action or her life could be in danger, it was what he would do as a leader, as a good friend.

"Matt answer me" his voice was cold, icy even, even Keith flinched at the sudden tone change.

"She's -" he glanced down quickly, "she's stable, I had to— I had to Shiro, I didn't have a choice" now it was Matt's turn for his voice to waver on the edge of fear and uncertainty, but all of Shiro attention was getting Pidge somewhere safe and get Matt out of here before he did something incredibly stupid.

"Whatever you're doing isn't going to work Matt"   
Shiro had almost forgotten about the other Paladins and Coran behind him.

Coran was standing tall, chest puffed out, the other Paladins - his family, were also stood there, ready to take on whatever it was to help their friend.

There was a chuckle, an uneasy uneven laugh from Matt who had stopped messing with the controls,  
"And why is that old man?" His voice was bitter and mean, close to evil,

"Because as we speak Princess Allura is in the engine room, manning the controls from the likes of you" 

There was a frozen silence, before Matt's fallen face smirked again, and he was reaching for something in his pocket, whispering something to himself.

"Well - that's, that's fine Coran - it's really fine" there was a chill in his voice, putting everyone on edge.

"What is this about Matt?" Shiro took a step forward, braving it when he realised that Pidge hasn't yet moved.

"You know what's it's about Shiro!" Matt forced a laugh, his voice cracking and tears slipped down his cheeks.

"Is it about the Galra? About me? Us? Voltron?" Shiro asked, desperate now,

Matt mumbled something, barely a whisper, his head ducked,

"Come again?"

"ITS EVERYTHING SHIRO"  
His voice bounced off the walls,  
"We have to go - one way or another"

That was when his heart seemed to stop in his chest, the realisation that hit him, the words that were so similar to him, hearing them from the same boy he was stuck in a cell for for a year - the same boy who decided that all hope was lost was was begging for sweet release.

Begging Shiro too.

But it wasn't Shiro this time, it was his little sister, Pidge that he was going to take down instead.

"Matt" Shiro's voice was dripping with desperation as he edged forward with small steps,  
"Matt listen to me, you're safe, you're both safe" 

But the said boy didn't say anything as his back was turned, shoulders shaking with what Shiro guessed was sobs.

"Matt please" 

But it was all too late, the small laser gun he had was quickly pulled out of his pocket and quickly pointed at the unconscious teen on the floor who hadn't yet even stirred.

There was a gasp, and he felt the tension from the room amplify about 100 as he heard Keith growl and Lance mutter something like "holy crow" under his breath.

"We can be free" Matt said, tears rolling down his face - and Shiro could see the utter fear that was etched into his skin, and it made him pity him, want to hold him like he did in the cells, because whatever he was left behind for had messed him up - so much so that he believed in killing his sister and then himself would free him from his own personal hellish nightmare.

"Matt you are free" Hunk hadn't spoken yet, but when Shiro looked around he saw the big teen, fists balled up - not in anger, in determination, as his eyes glistened in the light.

"No, we're not - the Galra, they're— they are coming for us and they'll kill us" Matt had defiantly toppled over the edge of his sanity. He didn't sound like Matt, he wasn't the son of Commander Holt and wasn't the great big brother Pidge would pine for - he was a broken, young man who had had enough and just wanted out.

"This isn't the way, let us help you" Lance pleaded,

"You're doing the wrong thing Matt, trust us" Keith had to use every inch of willpower to stop himself from pounding on Matt for even thinking about hurting Pidge, let alone want to kill her.

"I'm sorry" Matt trembled the small gun was shaking now as it pointed towards the small limp body on the floor.   
His eyes were squeezed shut as tears oozed out of them.

There was no time to think.

Shiro sent a silent apology to Commader Holt, Katie and their mother as he took two long steps before pouncing and coming off the floor.  
He felt the buzz in his arm - his metal arm, and when it collided with the back of Matt's neck there was a crack, a scream and a flash of white.

It felt like hours before Shiro hit the floor, the body underneath him was still and his heart was hammering against his chest.  
He blinked a few times to clear the moist in his eyes, as he looked to his left where Pidge was sat, still static, until Keith had picked her up, his arms under her legs, carrying her small light body bridal style, obviously heading towards the pods for recovery.

The madness was over.

It was silent, compared to the crying and the screaming seconds ago.

Lance was the first to walk over, hesitantly,  
"Is he..?"

It took one moment to look down to see Matt laying there.  
He rolled off his body and sat down on the floor.

"Yeah Lance," he looked up at Hunk who was still stood where he had been since he arrived in the room, as Coran and Keith tore down the hallway,  
"He's dead"


End file.
